Caring for a loved one with advanced cancer can take its toll, both physically and emotionally. Acknowledging just how hard it is can be validating but it can also illicit feelings of guilt – you may feel like you have no right to complain, or that you’re not doing enough. Whilst these feelings are common, it’s important to remember that it is universally accepted that caring is a physically and emotionally demanding role and acknowledging this doesn’t mean you care any less.
Caring for a loved one with a significant illness often allows little time for self-care. For carers, knowing how to support themselves practically and emotionally, but also where to find additional support when needed, is crucial to managing this journey and being able to provide the best care possible for their loved one.
You need to put your own oxygen mask on first.
Here are some ways you can support yourself while caring for a loved one:
- Schedule in relief once per week from a friend or family member so that you can do something just for you – see a friend, watch a movie, go for a walk. Whatever fills your cup.
- Get to bed as early as you can manage – sleep makes everything easier.
- If you are not working, sleep when your loved one sleeps.
- Accept offers of help without guilt. You both deserve them.
- Prepare and plan ahead (wherever possible) for outings and medical appointments.
- Consider modifications and equipment that could make life easier.
- Consider what type of services and support your loved one may be eligible for, such as My Aged Care.
- Ensure you have a trusted GP or healthcare professional to keep your own health in check.
- Have at least one person (friend or loved one) you can talk to about your role as a carer.
Here are some practical tips compiled by other carers through Carer Help, to support you during this time. These insights come from those who have walked the path of caring for a partner, relative, or friend through their life-limiting illness or end of life care.
When you are feeling overwhelmed or need a little extra help, these resources provide essential help to carers:
Carers Australia provides support, counselling, and information to carers. They can also help connect you to local carer associations for additional assistance.
Cancer Council offers information, support, and counselling services for cancer patients, carers, and families. Their experts can provide guidance on treatment, care options, and coping strategies.
Carer Gateway provides a broad range of free services tailored to the unique needs of carers. Support is available both online and in person, ensuring accessibility across Australia. Carer Gateway provide in-person and phone counselling, peer support groups, online courses, transport services and planned or emergency carer’s respite.
CarerHelp offers downloadable information packs containing factsheets and practical pointers to assist carers throughout different stages of their journey. These packs are valuable for families, partners, and healthcare professionals alike, and contain information on common concerns such as emotional and physical care, signs of illness, grief support, financial assistance, and carer self-care.
Mummy’s Wish provides support to mothers undergoing cancer treatment while caring for children under 13. However, their services can also benefit carers, helping them better assist with household responsibilities during this challenging time. Support can take the shape of practical assistance with household chores, meal preparation and childcare, or special gifts and outings for mothers and their children.
The Otis Foundation provides free retreat accommodation to individuals dealing with breast cancer. These stays offer an opportunity to relax and reconnect with loved ones in a serene environment. Partners and loved ones are welcome to accompany guests during their stay.
The Carer Gateway Counselling Service offers free counselling and resources to support carers, delivered through phone sessions and easily accessible online resources. Counselling can be particularly helpful for carers during periods of stress, anxiety or low mood.
Lifeline Australia a 24/7 crisis support service for anyone feeling distressed or in need of immediate support. Lifeline’s trained counsellors can provide support for carers during difficult times.
Caring for someone with advanced cancer requires resilience, patience, and support. Services such as the ones listed above offer invaluable resources for carers, including partners, friends and family members. Accessing these services can help you manage your responsibilities while maintaining your own wellbeing and supporting loved ones.